It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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