Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
