Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
