3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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