But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
