You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
