I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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