so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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