you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
