We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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