Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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