i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
