We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
