hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
