Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
