He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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