no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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