elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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