You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
