We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
