no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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