I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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