she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize