I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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