so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
And my parents said I crawled through the house
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
