spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
