I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
