my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
