I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
