Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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