The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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