don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This is my gift to your gina
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
