my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
its not stalking. its research.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
