That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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