so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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