Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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