i already hear my dad disowning me
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
