Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
