Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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