I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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