just survived the first fart of the relationship.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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