But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
