I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize