i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
