I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
