At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
