Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
