Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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