You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
