I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
