I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
they need to just BURY HIM!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Drake has all the answers
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
