please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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