i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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